Death

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Have you ever noticed the way society talks about death or someone who has died. Obituaries do not state that John Doe died on such and such date; they say he passed on or is deceased. The best I have heard though is ‘expired’. I can't help but think “are we now like food that passes it’s expiration date?” I feel somehow this takes away from the beauty found in death and the reality in death. Yes, I did say beauty.
My husband’s step mother, Danna, died May 27, 2008. She was 50 at the time. She appeared to get rapidly sick but not sick with the flu. Her mood, speech, and some basic skills were declining. Like some doctors I have come across, he or she prescribed an anti depressant to fix Danna’s problem. Unfortunately they waited two to three weeks to see if there were any changes. Of course, there were no changes. It turned out she had a brain tumor. The location was not typical; it was located more in the brain rather than on top. They operated on the tumor and took out a good portion of it but in a matter of days it was back to the size it was prior to the surgery. She hung in there for a good ten days before she died. Danna had a huge and amazing family. She had 11 siblings and they all made it to her bedside to see her. All in one night they saw her. The most amazing and beautiful thing I saw in those moments was the love between them. Danna’s mother, Ruth, came up to the hospital from three hours away. Ruth hugged her and Danna stroked Ruth’s hair. Danna could not speak but she had amazing facial expressions that spoke more than words itself. As Ruth pulled away and started to turn her back towards Danna, in such a childlike manner and in a way in which only a child could to their mother, Danna reached for her mother with the saddest torn frown on her face. This moment was so beautiful to me. It showed me that although death can be dark and hurtful, there is a beauty to be found there. The look on Danna’s face spoke words that were different for each person seeing this scene. To me, her face said “mom I have an owie, I need a hug; don't leave yet.”
The night before Danna died I opted to go home and sleep while Dave waited in the hospital with his Dad. That same night, Dave’s brother’s wife went into labor. Kieran was born at 2:00 in the morning and Danna died at 7:00. What an array of emotions to feel in one day. We were deeply saddened by the loss of an amazing and wonderful woman but yet happy because a new spirit had been brought into the world. Part of me felt guilty for being happy for the new addition because I knew how emotionally fragile our father was.
Death is out of our control. Death is inevitable. Death is not the end but merely a beginning into something more. What that more is, you decide before you die.