Monday, April 12, 2010

Preggers... Beware... brutal truth inside.

Lots of people around me seem to be having babies. I figured if you can't beat 'em, join 'em. Dave and I are expecting our first child. We are due Sept 20th or somewhere in and around that date. I never trust the date the doctor gives because it's an estimated date. The only thing I know for sure is that there is only one baby.

So far there is nothing exciting about it. I will give you a minute to pick your jaw up off the keyboard and rid your mind of the negative thoughts you may now have about me. I am a realistic person who will tell you how I feel without sugar coating it. I also risk offending people but remember this is my opinion.


Most women get all teary and gushy over being pregnant and how excited they are. I am not one of these women. Oh wait, I do get teary... while I'm throwing up my wasted food. When I flush the toilet I think "well that was a waste of a bowl of cereal." I swear the baby is sitting there all nice and cushy on my bladder thinking... "I will take this and then punch you in the stomach and make you throw up the rest." I'm fairly used to the routine of getting up in the morning, eating something or drinking a big glass of water, brushing my teeth and then throwing up.

Half the days I feel like I have an eating disorder because I will brush my teeth knowing that as soon as I brush my tongue I will throw up. I purposely do this. Granted, it's because I feel naseaus and the only way to rid of it is to do that. I do not have the dedication to develop and maintain an eating disorder.


My 'girls' hurt more than I ever thought they could. Where is the justice in a big breasted person having more pain than a small breasted person... c'mon, I have more room for everything to settle.

There are some things you will never see posted on my blog or facebook profile... naked belly pictures, 4D ultrasound pictures, updated pregnancy pictures at different weeks so everyone can see how big I am getting, and baby pictures as soon as the baby is born and in my arms (c'mon I don't like how I look without makeup and I don't want others to see it either.) I think naked belly pictures are gross unless taken at the right time... preferrably not at 7-9 months because by then I will be as big as a house with nasty as stretch marks that I don't want to admit are there... granted I would hope my photographer knows how to use photoshop. I believe 4 D ultrasounds are creepy. I have heard people say that you can really see what the baby looks like but if my baby comes out looking like a half sculpted orange piece of playdo, I'm going to be a bit mad. The updated pregnancy pictures I would take and send only to my parents and family. It's not that I don't like them but I just don't want to do it.

Dave and I fully intend on finding out the sex of the baby. I know some people don't want to find out because they will be disappointed when the baby is born or it won't be as big of a surprise... really?? You won't be excited when your baby is born because you already know the sex. Okay Eeyore... "that's okay, I know it's a girl... I found out a few months ago..." I was surprised when I found out I was pregnant. Not because I couldn't get pregnant or that we were trying forever. I was surprised because I was pregnant in general. If you find out the sex and aren't excited when they are born, you may want to get you're head checked. I like to be in as much control as possible. So if finding out the sex allows me to go out and purchase items that are gender appropriate, I will. Plus, I don't want a bunch of clothes that are yellow, green and purple.


So that's my rant for the day/week/month about pregnancy. Don't get me wrong, I am excited but I'm telling you my experience. We find out the sex of the baby at the end of April. I intend on telling people the gender as well as the name we have chosen because what if someone else chooses the same thing...? Then I'd be copying them or them me...

1 comment:

Melanie said...

I'm not a big excited pregnant lady either. Well, I am big, but that's another story. Shopping when you know the gender is much better...unless it's a boy and then shopping bites because boys clothes just aren't as fun. The 4D ultrasounds are creepy, but our friends had one and it is amazing how much more detail you can see!! I think you should totally plaster your blog with naked belly pictures, that would be awesome. I just barely had Mark take a couple pictures of me so we can have evidence that I really was pregnant. But they were fully clothes and not the week by week photos to compare! I will look forward to hearing what you name this child...you will have to wait until ours is born because we don't tell. Then again we don't totally decide until the kid is born anyway. And with this one, we won't decide until then anyway since we can't seem to agree on anything. Poor kid, he might really end up with the name Boy.
Hope the barfing stops soon.